The Lair of the White Worm, 1988, dir. Ken Russell. At home on the Criterion Channel, Sunday, October 16.

Ken Russell, wow. The Lair of the White Worm isn’t even his freakiest film; in fact, it seems his most conventional, until we have these mini-flashbacks where we see topless nuns and a Jesus assaulted by a very phallic white snake (the worm of the title). These aren’t reviews, just my simple thoughts on all the movies I’m seeing, so you’ll have to look up the loony plot yourself. I’ll just say this: Lair of the White Worm is over-the-top, is goofy as hell, but it’s stocked with fantastic actors (including the very young Hugh Grant and Peter Capaldi). Susperia on Friday is better looking, with better music, and yet no one seems to be enjoying themselves in that flick, and no one puts in a decent performance. Lair of the White Worm is also stupid, and outrageously so, a rollicking adventure of giant beasts, crazed vampire/worm women, depraved butlers and English legend. Because Russell went for broke, and because he cast the fabulous Amanda Donohoe as his evil lead, the movie has 100 times the energy of Argento’s more stylish and tedious film. Man, Amanda Donohoe! According to the unreliable internet, Donohoe, at age 16, left home to live with Adam Ant, and once single-handedly beat up a rival band who had trapped the singer in a hallway. She looks like she could do that in The Lair of the White Worm. Honestly, you can’t take your eyes off of her, she appears as though she’s eager to devour the flesh of every actor in every scene, and perhaps the crew behind the camera. Bravo, this movie’s a blast.